This exhibition primarily focuses on portraits of my drinking buddies. Additionally, a doctoral mentor and a child, with whom I don’t drink. 

 

When one of my drinking buddies and I feel bored and decide to drink, “the end of the universe” was our code, indicating a trip to Soho in London. We would then joyfully run to Soho, like two kids running to a playground after school.

 

Why do adults need to drink:

 

Feng Tang (Chinese poet, best-selling writer) says he can only write when he's reasonably drunk; he also mentioned that if he doesn't drink three “big rounds” with someone, he won't be able to decide whether he can partner with that person in business or not. 

 

Well, Chinese drinking culture surely has its reasons for existence.

 

If we have too much repression and concealment, the life inside a person is lifeless, and the soul becomes limp, lacking creativity. (Interestingly, if you think about it, how many great artworks were created under the influence of alcohol, and how many children were conceived by couples after a drink...by accident? Or by our deliberate faults?)

 

All the adult friends I painted for this show asked me how they should dress, sit, or behave before being painted. I simply replied, “Be Yourself”. Only the child didn't ask me; he just did whatever he wanted because he is purely, constantly “himself”. (Of course, the child is not one of my drinking buddies.)

 

The doctoral mentor is a new friend I got to know, Dr. Ben Anderson, whose researches on "boredom" and "hope" in human geography really generated much spark to my search for the meaning of painting, in particular, portraits. So much so that I have  kindly asked him to oversee and advise on my writings related to this show. He is one of the most leading voices in he field. I am truly grateful for such a recent divine encounter right before I took the courage to paint people, again. 

 

I hope this exhibition is not only a solo show, but also a start of an ongoing personal research project. I hope to pick up my paint brushes again to study how to help myself, and my sitters, to reduce life's boredom, and increases life’s hope.

 

We drink, to let go of defenses, to rediscover the true self, to be more human, and able to engage in more sincere, authentic communication with others. We also drink in the hope of getting closer to our true self, and to the truth our souls constant long for.

 

Painting, for me, is similar to drinking.

 

Hearing more and more of my drinking buddies told me they feel "bored," I surely feel equally so if not more. So, I decided to revive a bit of my old skills and started painting portraits for them. So my other hope is that “painting a portrait” would be a process of mutual help, healing, and rediscovery of the "true self." 

 

During the painting process, we would open a bottle or two, then open up our hearts and souls to chat (well, the child only indulged in his reading and completely ignored me…). 

 

I always feel that when painting portraits, the artist and the model become two mirrors facing each other, slowly peeling through and seeing each other more clearly, even catching a glimpse of something eternal, such as the loneliness and vulnerability of the soul, and a deep longing for love, hope, and truth.

 

Suddenly, I understand why Freud, Bacon, Auerbach, Bowie, Ginsberg, and many creative minds gathered in Soho in post-war London. I seem to be able to see them pushing limits at the end of the universe in Soho's late nights, where some of the greatest thoughts collided, sparking genuine human affection, fire, warmth, truth, and of course, hope. A lot of hope… 

 

Perhaps, the end of the universe is truly in Soho.

 

At the very end (of our own universe and our collective one), we will all face two gates: The gate of eternal love, and the gate of eternal boredom. Is the choice ours? I believe so. Deeply, believe so. 

 

Love, again. Love, more.

 

 

(Matti Gao, 20 November, 2023. Auver-sur-Oise, France)

 

 

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